I missed a few days. oh well. my life is very unexciting.

tomorrow is this boy's birthday that i get to go to before i leave for vacation. you do NOT know how excited i am to get out of this stinking town. for a week, at least i'll be at peace. maybe get a little bit of sun.

anyway, about this party. i like the kid, and so it's gonna be super akward, man. oh well. i'm just excited cause i get to swim for the second time this summer. that's terrible, it's already the end of summer and i've only swam twice. ah well, it's just the way things are.

alright well. that's all.
until next time

i forgot to update last night. oh well. see, i told you i wouldn't be able to do it. haha. i'm too busy being lazy, unfortunatly. anyway, let's get on with the update.

there's not much new to say. i may start posting pictures in here, once a day, of... something. i'm not sure yet. maybe i'll draw a new pictre once a day and put it up with my journal. random things. alright, i'll start for tomorrow's entry. should be a good time.

summer is nearing its send, which means one thing... school. but luckily, i have a birthday party to go to and vacation to do beforehand, which should calm my nerves. i'm going into 11th grade and changing schools again. i hate this town. they make you switch schools so often... i wish i was back in california or maryland, where you only had 3 schools. not, like, 5. but of course, with as many kids that are here, oddly enough, i guess we need that many schools. why, in the right mind, would you choose to move here? it's dumb.

i find myself sitting around on the computer each day, wondering... why i'm just sitting around on the computer each day. haha. i need a job, badly, if i'm going to earn enough money to go see nira in may. i hope i can earn enough by then. i'll sell some of my stuff, probably, too... hm. well we'll just have to cross that bridge when the time comes closer.

i need a fresh start. i need a hobby. i need a boyfriend... ah well.
until next time.

i don't know if i can do it, but i can certainly try.
hello fellow lj'ers. as far as i know, though, no one really reads my journals anyway.
ah well.

today was a rather boring day. mostly spent here at the computer, looking up things on youtube and throughout the communities here. i admire so many people, i realize, that are famous in their own way on the internet. even so, i don't envy their fame. i don't think i could be watched by so many people, expected to do so much... i don't know.

i need to tune my new guitar. it's a junker, but it has something strange about it that draws me to its strings. ahh. the power of music.

love is confusing, did you know? you feel empty when you're not with that person, and yet... your heart is somehow content with just the little things the other person gives you. even if it's not requited love, i still feel like i'm part of his life... it's grand.

hm. i realized that i talk very formally in this journal. i deleted my previous entries because they just didn't seem to fit me anymore. i'm not that 'fat otaku' everyone knew me as before. i've grown up. and it's very nice.

until next time...

it's been too long, livejournal. too long indeed.

it seems i've been too busy lately to update you... i feel like it's been 2 years. maybe more. i don't even remember. i don't even recognize you. it's time for a change though.

allow me to shed some light on the happenings since i've last seen you, my friends. i've grown up, or it seems so. i'm now sixteen years of age. my tastes have changed, and i feel more mature. i enjoy cooking now as well. school has been a cakewalk so far in studies, but a hard road with social interaction. i've had my first boyfriend, come and gone. i've had my second, come... gone... but come back as of late. i don't really know where i stand with him at this present time, but i do know that i want him back badly.

there are so many things i'd like to do with my life. so many things i wish i could turn back the clock and do differently. people make mistakes and they learn, i suppose. we're not perfect. as it seems, some people expect me to be perfect. why? i don't know... but i don't want to let them down. i'm easily read to some, mysterious to others. why is that? i like to wear my heart on my sleeve, as always... but i don't trust as easily as i used to anymore. i guess that comes with the wear and tear of betrayal and intervention. the world can be so cruel sometimes, don't you agree?

my art style has improved, i'd like to think. photography is a passion of mine... poetry is something that, sometimes, seems like i write in my sleep. this creative bug has bit me, but i don't know where it's going to take me.

i have also changed physically, my friends. but that is something few of you know and others will not find out.

there are many things to be thankful for, actually.. even though the world tends to stab us in the back sometimes, rewards can be found. i'm going on vacation in another week or more. i'm planning on going to a birthday party as well, right before vacation. then after we get back, school starts... going to japan next year, which is very exciting for me. then flying back out to california to meet a friend and go to a convention. ah... it feels like life may finally look up again for me.

i hope that this entry marks the beginning of my constant updates to livejournal from now on. but for now, i bid you adieu.